My Newest Project and a Hot Dress

Here is the latest blanket I made. A few weeks late...cute all the same. Thanks Natalie for your help.

And this is my favorite dress...

Shy no more

I realized this week that I am the person I thought I could never become. I quit nursing school 6 weeks away from graduation because I would never be able to do all that was required of me. There are so many responsibilities of a nurse how could I ever do them all. I was so quiet and soft spoken. Talking to doctors was a chore. I was so uncomfortable with who I was how could I help people in their time of need. Luckily, I continued on with school graduated and became a nurse. It has been two and a half years and I love every minute of it.

I am a patient advocate. The girls who couldn't speak for herself is now speaking for her patients and her colleagues. Many people I work with laugh when I say I was once shy.

This week I was my own advocate. But first we must go back a few months. I worked with a Radiologist a few months back and I could not seem to please her. She made me cry. That is what I do in situations of conflict. I cry and I don't stop. I let the other person know they have the power. Luckily, I did not have any run ins with her for awhile. Last Friday I worked with her and things went smoothly. So when I had to work with her yesterday I felt prepared. I got her first patient situated and then called her down. Unfortunately, right as the doctor walked through the door the patient asked if he could go to the bathroom. As I walked him to the bathroom the doctor completely went off on me. She said "You do not call me down here so the patient can go to the bathroom." The patient apologized and the doctor said, to the patient, "no you are fine. She should know better, she knows her job " then rambles on under her breath. I walked the patient to the bathroom then marched right up to where she was sitting and said DR. X, YOU DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT TO ME IN FRONT OF A PATIENT, THAT IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE, AND I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT." (capitalization represents a stern voice, not yelling, I kept my cool) I like to think she cowered at this point I think she did a little. She responded, "yes that was inappropriate to say that in front of the patient I am having a bad day and I took it out on you." I said "I can understand a bad day, we are good and walked away." The patient came back apologizing to the doctor making sure she knew it was not my fault. Poor guy he felt so bad. So as the Doctor talked to the patient the radiology tech thanked me for saying something because apparently they have been dealing with her crap all day.

I later told my boss and she was so excited for me. She said that I will never have a problem with that Doctor again because I put her in her place.

I must now be careful because that is the second doctor I have set straight this month. I might get out of control.

So there you have it I am not as shy as I once was. I still have a lot to learn about my role as a nurse. However, I am becoming more confident every day. I love what I do I love the patients I get to work with. I am incredibly blessed to be able to serve these people as they start out on the road to recovery.

I LOVE the dentist I always will. Just don't let me forget again.

Ten years ago, approximately my Junior year in High School, I started getting headaches. They were awful I missed a lot of school, saw a lot of doctors, and took a lot of medications. Nothing seemed to help. Over time I just learned to live with them.
Three years after they started I went to a Dentist to have my Wisdom Teeth pulled. A friend suggested I tell my dentist my woes. I did and he said once we get the wisdom teeth taken care of I will look into that. One day at an appointment he played with my jaw. He seemed to believe I have TMJ or TMD. TMJ stands for Temporal mandibular joint (joint where your jaw joins your skull) So TMD is a disorder of that joint. After playing with my jaw and listening to the clicks he decided to fit me for a brace/splint. I wore that splint 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Only talking it out to eat and to clean it. My headaches went away. I loved that splint and I loved that dentist even more. Eventually, I was told just to wear the splint at night. Somewhere in these past 7 years I stopped wearing it.

Not a good idea.

The headaches have come back and with a vengeance. This time my neck and shoulders have suffered as well. I have tried everything to treat them again. Byron and Diamond gave great massages and took care of them for a little while. They still returned each week. I decided I would jut deal with this fact of life. Then it hit me. GO BACK TO THE DENTIST. DUH... so last week I found a dentist online that focuses on Neuromuscular problems. I called for my free consultation. They got me in two hours after I called. After assessing my pained jaw the dentist said "yup I think your old dentist was on the right track. He filed some of my teeth so they would fit together better. It made a difference within an hour. I go back on Thursday for another appointment. I am so excited to get these things under control. I probably get to wear that wonderful splint again. I am not to excited about that but if it helps then I will do it.

I am wearing my old one today. I have been at work it is fun to stutter while talking to patients. When I answer the phone I have found my name is the hardest thing to say.

"Inpatient thith ith THethica"

It is great.

Does it matter?

Can I do it? When?

Who am I? Am I portraying that?

What matters most?

How much longer?

Is it worth the time...the pain...the effort?

When do you give in, give up, give back?

I want to blog but my thoughts are everywhere. Here are just a few questions running through my head daily?