So I work at the University of Utah Orthopaedic Center. I get the patients after they come out of the PACU (post anesthesia care unit) and I take care of them for 2-4 days. Orthopaedics means bones not foot. We take care of hip and knee replacements, bone fusions, spine surgeries if it has a bone involved we take care of them. Most patients are there so we can manage pain (we can't make it go away completely) and they work with the Physical Terrorist (Therapists). I have fun teasing my patients I love when patients come in cracking jokes because my job becomes so much easier. Here are some of my favorite things to say to them.
1. The Marathon starts tomorrow at 2.
I usually pull this one out the very first time they are getting out of bed and they think they will never be able to walk again.
2. Because you don't need anything we wont be answering your light the next two times.
I use this one when patients put the call light on by accident. We can't have people crying wolf all night.
3. If your food needs to be warmed up let me know, it is hard to tell and I refrained from stirring it with my finger.
4. Phew...That was my first time.
This can be used after almost any scary task, most often used with IV starts.
5. This is the nurses button (pointing to the orange button) we recommend not using it.
1. The Marathon starts tomorrow at 2.
I usually pull this one out the very first time they are getting out of bed and they think they will never be able to walk again.
2. Because you don't need anything we wont be answering your light the next two times.
I use this one when patients put the call light on by accident. We can't have people crying wolf all night.
3. If your food needs to be warmed up let me know, it is hard to tell and I refrained from stirring it with my finger.
I get the weirdest look on this one but it is the truth. How do you check your food? That is what I thought.
4. Phew...That was my first time.
This can be used after almost any scary task, most often used with IV starts.
5. This is the nurses button (pointing to the orange button) we recommend not using it.
This one does not always get a laugh but when it does it is great.
...And of course my favorite...
6. My name is Jessica and I will be your Nurse today.
I have said it thousands of times now and it does not get old.
Those are some of my favorites and all I could think of right now. I will pay more attention to what I say and maybe post some more later.
I thought of another one...
7. This waxing in complementary
Said when removing patients IV, they are usually taped down really good.
2 comments:
Cute. When ever I visit the hospital, the nurse can make or break the experience. I'll bett your patients love you!
You crack me up!! I hope that heaven forbid, I should ever need knee replacement at the age of 27 that you are there to greet me when it is over!
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